8 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman
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People are well meaning, most of the time. They say things that they think are okay, or helpful, even. Sometimes we say things because it's just what you say or we just don't think about it.
I'm in the second trimester of my third pregnancy. Our boys are 14 and 9. I heard some of the same things with our first and second as I've now heard with our third. I know people don't mean to be, well, mean, but that's how it comes across. Maybe it's because I'm a little more sensitive to things right now, or, it could be that I'm tired of hearing these things, since this is our third.
This post might have a slight tinge of sarcasm and venting, so, you have been warned (hahaha).
Let me share some of these things that people have said to me personally:
I can't believe you're craving that! That's disgusting and so bad for the baby!
Why do we think that it's cute when a pregnant woman craves pickles and ice cream, but it's not okay for us to crave other things. I craved Burger King with our first and I'm craving it again with this one. Why is that so bad? It's not that I'm eating it everyday, even though that would be wonderful. I don't even get it once a week. I can't help what I'm craving.
You're so big? When are you due?
Really? That's just what a pregnant woman wants to hear, right? I really love when people tell me how big I am. I'm already feeling like the Michelin Man, I don't need you, dear friend, to tell me that I'm huge. The best part? When a stranger says it to you. Not okay.
Shouldn't you be watching what you are eating? That's not healthy for the baby.
This is okay from my doctor, husband, or parents, whom I spend a lot of time with, who know what I eat in totality. But, from you whom I've seen once in the last 6 months? Nope. Especially when I am in the "everything makes me want to throw up" stage. You just want to eat anything that makes you feel normal, even just for a few minutes.
Was it planned?
How is that any of your business? I'm not going to share my personal details with you. If you knew me close enough, you would already know the answer to that question.
At your age?
This sort of goes with #4. Yes, I'm 43. Yes, we're having a baby. There's not really anything we can do about it now, right? So can you just be happy for us?
You're having another one? Why?
Come on, really?
Are you hoping for a boy/girl?
We have two boys. We heard it with our second one and we are really hearing it with this one. Just about everyone has asked us if we are hoping for a girl with this one. I'm probably taking this wrong, but, you know what? I like our two boys. I wouldn't mind having a third boy. I would also be happy with a girl. Saying that I'm hoping for a girl, feels like an insult to our boys. I keep hearing how much better girls are than boys and that I should have a girl. Anyways, hoping for a specific gender, doesn't it make it come true. The baby is a girl or a boy, we just don't know yet.
You can always try for another one if you don't get what you want (after the general ultrasound)
Um, what? Am I a vending machine? "Just put in another coin to get the prize that you really want." I am happy that God has entrusted us with another child. Why would I cheapen that gift with not being happy because of the gender?
What are some of the lovely things that people have said to you while you're pregnant. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know!
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